The Confession of Drama Queen

Some questions which will make you think twice before you give your friends a tag called ‘besties’ :

1. Have you ever thought about what your friends might think about you ?
2. Are you sure they never talked about you behind your back ?
3. Are you sure when you cry because your world falling apart, they’ll comfort you ?
4. Are you sure they’re not rolling their eyes when you talked about your crush or your enemy ?
5. Are you sure they’re worth you call ‘besties’ ?

My answers will be :

1. Always have.
2. No, I’m not so sure.
3. Not so sure, either.
4. I have never caught them rolling their eyes, but I’m sure they’ve been done that.
5. I hope they will be.

Anyway, I have a story to tell and (I think) it has relation with the questions :
Me and my friends plan to hanging out together today. But we both haven’t decided where to go. So we’re chatting about some of the places where we use to hang out while wait for my other friend to come. Then, I saw him. -my crush- was played football with the other boys in the field right in front of us.
Suddenly, she said (I’m not really remember) : Why don’t we go to -my crush- home, hey do you know that Tiwi likes -my crush- ?
so loudly in front of my friends.
And I was like : What the hell ?!
Thank God, my friends didn’t heard what she said because they were too excited about the football game. But, one of my friend (who didn’t really excited about the football) looked surprise and said : really ?
she : Yea. Tiwi likes -my crush-
me : (nervously) no ! I’m over him.
he : -smile stupidly-

I (sort of) hate her . Start from the moment I wrote this posting.
You might ask : why now, not right after she humiliate you?
The answer is : I was going to yelled at her, but then my friend that we’ve been waiting came. I don’t want to put herself as a ‘trouble solver’ between me and this f**kin’ girl.

Then, the three of us goin’ to restaurant. And when I’m busy pickin’ the menu, the two of them were talking private. I looked at them curiosly :
me : what’s wrong, guys ?
girl #1 : no, nothing.
me : then why you guys talkin’ sooo private ?
girl #2 : let’s tell her.
girl #1 : up to you.
me : okay, I’m getting curios.
girl #1 : well, it’s not really important.
girl #2 : we’re graduate already, let’s talked about it to her.
me : *keep waiting*
girl #2 : so.. *she answer the question of mine that I almost forgot : about why some of my friends didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. She said, because they sick of me being such a drama queen*
me : Oh, okay.

At that moment, I try to calm down my self. Not to act drama queen like what my friends has just said. But then, I realized : How long have been they keeping this secret from me ? If they keeping this secret, it means : they’ve talked about me behind my back, right ? So, do they even worth called ‘besties’ ? I don’t think so.

(Maybe) to make me felt comfort, they’re changed the subject into : our future (high) school.

I wanna go to the school where I won’t meet them, my old clique, my old friends, or everyone I knew. I really wanna start this all over again. Look forward and never regret what you've done.

The weird thing is that I couldn’t say what I want to them.
Everytime they say : “I hope the three of us could entering the same high school”
It sounds fake to me. Do they really wanna go to the same school with me, the drama queen ? I bet they’ll answer : of course we do *but deep down inside, they’re true answer is : absolutely no !*

If your friends that you used to called besties, humiliate you and talked behind your back. What will you do ? Will you still call them ‘besties’ ?

I wish I could exchange my (fake) besties with -my crush-
The question is : Does he willing to be my bestfriend ?

Well, even in my last posting I said that we’re bestfriend. The thing is : we’re never really a ‘bestfriend’

We’re kinda avoiding each other. He don’t wanna hurt my feeling and I don’t wanna get hurt by him, either. Since yearbook project is done, I have no reason to text him. Probably, it’s the best for both of us : He live his life. I live mine.

Hhhhh..It feels relieve after I finish this posting. Since I have no one to talk to.

FYI, I am a drama queen. Do you have a problem with that ?

XOXO.tiwi.